1. |
Jenn II
03:08
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Jenn I
I’m trying to be sweet because
I don’t want you to leave me
But every time I try to be more of my comfortable self
You hate it
And I’ve already spent enough time hating myself
For not being everything that makes everyone else
Comfortable
And still
I don’t want you to leave me
But I want to be
Wanted for me
Jenn II
I know that I’m so much sometimes
And you don’t think that’s okay
And validation for the sake of validation
Isn’t healthy
Or so you say
But I love to exist here
I love to be here
When you’re in the space
But I knew that this might end here because
You always go away
I just wanna feel wanted
I just wanna feel pretty
You make me feel wanted
You make me feel pretty
I’ll try not to be so much next time so you don’t leave
If I knew that was the last time
I would’ve been whatever you wanted
This always happens
I get so attached to anyone that makes me feel beautiful
You don’t have to tell me this is ending
I know
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2. |
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In all my dreams, you find out all my secrets
I wake up sweating thinking that you did
You ask me why I don’t tell you anything
Cuz last time I did, you took everything
You gave me selves I didn’t know what to do with
And took away all the parts worth loving
I wonder what would happen if you knew all my secrets
All the things I’m hiding from you
I wonder what would happen if you knew all my secrets
If you found out the truth
You ask me if it’s true
And what if it was?
What would you do?
Would you stop loving me?
That doesn’t scare me like it used to
You haven’t loved me in a long time
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3. |
Everything
04:29
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Everything I could’ve been is you
And everything I could’ve been lives with you
The person that I could’ve been
And all the things I should’ve lived
The existence that I might’ve had is you
What’s real can’t die
So this want will never end
Stay up all night
To cry but I just can’t
Is it love or jealousy?
Or is this just pretend?
I’ll never know
I’m just wishing again
I became someone new
And named her something else
I made her you
But it was all pretend
Wish I could cry
But if not now then when?
I’ll fall asleep
So I can dream again
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4. |
A Christmas Song
02:02
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I'm putting up some lights in my living room
I feel like I'm making constellations
I'm putting up some lights in my living room
Mistletoe above the loveseat
My happiness is still on hold for you
It's on my wish list to stop wishing for you
With any luck, I'll get just what I want
It's on my wish list to stop wishing for you
We skip to 11:12
My happiness is still on hold for you
I expected to get closure for Christmas
Or at the least, a half birthday present
I expected to get closure for Christmas
Wrapped up inside of your mouth
My happiness is still on hold for you
So I'll never love again
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5. |
Another Story
04:28
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6. |
Tread Lightly
04:09
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It barely rains here in the summer
But when it does, it begins to flood
Laugh it off, ‘cause you can when you are young
Your parents, they won’t be so lucky in the morning
Chasing aliens in the backyard
With your next door neighbor’s kids
Laugh it off, ‘cause you can when you are young
Lose touch once they move into the city
While you remember what you love
Hold it closer to the sun
It is not that permanent
You’re too young to understand
It’s just like your parents said
Hold onto the moment while it lasts
Twenty bucks for all your troubles
It seems to last a million years
Spend it all, ‘cause you can when you are young
Wish it back, ‘cause your college wants your money
Going on a date with Amy
Kiss her neck and fall in love
Cuddle up, ‘cause you can when you are young
Break it off, ‘cause you can’t afford a wedding
While you remember what you love
Hold it closer to the sun
It is not that permanent
You’re too young to understand
It’s just like your parents said
Hold onto the moment while it lasts
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7. |
Lipstick
03:30
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8. |
Landmine
03:28
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9. |
Change My Ways
03:22
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Olivia Hudson Chicago, Illinois
2016-2019
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